Annoyed – Breathe In, Breathe Out ….

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I went to see my doctor about 6 weeks ago to plead with him to go on Vyvanse (medication to help stop binge eating). When I saw him I asked him to google it and he did,  I asked him to check if the drug doesnt interfere with my Bipolar meds and he did, he said that it didnt …. fast forward a month, I went to get a new script as it was still working great, he noticed that Vyvanse was an amphetamine and said to me “that is why you are feeling so great” and gave me another script for it

Fast forward a week, I went to see him for a Bipolar med script and after not bingeing for 33 days, I had binged two days in a row and asked him for a stronger mg Vyvanse just to get back on track again, welllllllll, he googled Vyvanse and told me it was an amphetamine and I need to go off it straight away and that it interferes with my antidepressant and he is  worried about the side affects and that I might drop dead BUT if another doctor prescribed Vyvanse to me then that would be ok (after telling me that I was like a daughter to him) if he was so worried about me then he, wouldnt want me to have them at all … he just wants to save himself (they were just extreme side effects). He told me to go home and meditate, that should help … that pissed me off

He left a message with my sister this evening saying he has a new script for me, a diet drug (WTF?)  … after telling him a billion times that I have a binge eating disorder and I want to recover, it isnt about losing weight

Ive enquired about going  back to an eating disorders clinic, im waiting to hear back from them … its not about going off Vyvanse, I just want someone to listen and medicate me with the right medications

Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get it out

Meditation and Relaxation

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Now that the new medication is helping tremendously, I can watch my moods etc, the last couple of days ive been very busy and ive ended up exhausted. I now realize if im doing too much that I need to have a break or make sure I meditate of a night. If it is busy at work and im starting to get alittle stressed or agitated I know I need to just sit and breathe, even if its 5 minutes sitting in the bathroom breathing  deeply.

So far my binge eating is under control, I now need to look after myself so it doesnt flair up again

So glad to be alive

Day 8 on Vyvanse

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I am still loving this medication, I havent thought about bingeing once, usually its at least a few times a day, im very impressed with it, the only side effect ive had is waking up alittle early but thats ok as im enjoying living right now. I have a calm mind but sometimes I do need to sit, close my eyes a rest for a few minutes, but thats just because ive overdone things and need a break

I dont ever remember feeling this way, I know I will still have ups and downs, im just enjoying the calmness right now