Giving My Mind A Holiday

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Giving My Mind A Holiday

Ive started on a (not so new) medication, I don’t advocate using appetite suppressants for people with eating disorders, I only use them when im in dire straits. I don’t use them to stop hunger as im never really hungry, I eat because I know I have too,  I use them (as the title says) to give my mind a holiday. My Bi-Polar meds help a lot, but with any addiction, if you slip up its so hard to get back on track, sometimes I really wish I was an alcoholic (no offense)  as at least I could live without my addiction, problem is, we cant live without food but I need to look at my binge eating as alcoholism, I cant just binge once and get back on track, you enter a downward spiral and cant get back again, so I need not to binge at all

This time will be different (im sure we have all told ourselves that a million times) im using them to learn how to eat normally, I don’t have any other choice, there aren’t many other options for me, if I cant learn to help myself, who will? no-one can, its all up to ME

Today I am thankful for: my calm mind

There is always something good in each day: the unconditional love from my dogs

10 responses »

  1. Self medication lol. I like it. Us bipolar people gotta stick together. Of course that’s thinking like a true addict too. What meds are you on? Very well written. I’ve been diagnosed since my daughter was around 12 she’s 19 now. I was relieved.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thankyou, it means alot, its only my second blog ever. Im on PRISTIQ (desvenlafaxine) and Seroquel (Quetiapine Fumarate) and a low does of Duromine to try control the Binge Eating … ive only been diagnosed a couple of months, Im 45 years old, ive been suffering since I was 20, blamed everything on eating disorders. Last year I was brave enough to go to my doctor about having OCD, everything seemed to be ok (not great) but ok, until my two dogs got sick and I nursed them until they died (very close together) .. it all went down hill from there, I was also relieved, one of the best things ever to happen to me, which is sad in a way, but at least we know what we are dealing with instead of the unknown

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      • Pristiq is good but expensive. Seroquel will put the weight on if you’re not careful. It makes you crave carbs. I’ve been on both I’m on a lot. I’m bipolar, fibromyalgia, RLS, OCD, PTSD, deaf in left ear on and on lol. Just plain crazy. I’m sorry about you dogs. I know that’s like children. I turned 50 this year so it’s harder as we get older but we keep on trucking. 😎

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Food is my drug of choice, too. Gosh, I know exactly how you feel about this. I’ve tried everything–diets, books on compulsive eating, mindfulness exercises. They might work for a while, but as soon as the bipolar swings come, I absolutely can’t control myself.

    My therapist helps me work with mindfulness a lot. She suggested this mantra–One Serving At A Time. I could eat whatever and as much as I wanted, I just needed to dish up or measure out one serving at a time. It helps (when I can do it). It keeps me from gobbling a whole bag or carton of something at once. It creates a break, a space, to breathe and consider the next serving.

    My other manta is Do the Least Harm. When I’m on a binge, if I can do it, I try to make the least harmful choices. If I’m getting chips at the store, I try to get baked ones. If I stop at Wendy’s, I try to opt for a salad. If it’s ice cream I’m hot after, I get a single serving of something.

    All this doesn’t really make me lose weight. I fluctuate in a 15 pound range, and I’m still morbidly obese on the doctor’s charts. But these few things do make me feel a teeny bit more in control of my own self. I know the binging is ingrained from when I was a child and food was the only way to dampen the bipolarness. After all these years, I think I’ve finally come to terms with that. I just want to be healthy. I feel lucky that I’ve found an activity (swimming) that makes me feel good and graceful. I try to focus on that and just do my best with the food thing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You can only do your best Sandy, I agree, Ive given up on “losing weight” its all about being healthy, swimming is great, exercise always makes me feel better … ive gone a week without bingeing which is kind of a miracle for me … I wish you all the best

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  3. I have bipolar disorder, OCD, and an eating disorder too. but I have alcoholism on top of all that, and it fucking sucks. wheee!

    but now, I do get what you mean about wishing it was alcohol instead of meds. :/

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have bipolar disorder, OCD, and an eating disorder too. but I have alcoholism on top of all that, and it dreaking sucks. wheee!

    but now, I do get what you mean about wishing it was alcohol instead of meds. :/

    Liked by 1 person

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