Sometimes that is how it feels inside my mind, but I wouldn’t say its due to the medication, it seems like Ive always been like this, lack of focus, lack of concentration, I wouldn’t say a complete lack of motivation, because im very motivated to clean the house or go out. Its the inability to focus or concentrate that annoys me.
My family have always found it weird that in the middle of a movie I can get up and leave the room and not return for the ending, or even be interested in how the movie, TV show etc ended. Im 45 years old and I want to get my learners permit to drive a car, I started reading the booklet 4 weeks ago and was so interested in studying for it, I put the booklet down and cant seem to pick it up again. The last book I read took me 3 years to finish, I LOVE reading but it seems like there is some invisible wall stopping me from doing something I love or want to do. I told my family that I was going to study for my learners permit (which I think was a mistake as they keep asking how the studying is going) I thought it would motivate me to study, but its just making me feel bad as its just another thing Ive thought about doing and not followed through with due to lack of whatever.
Is this due to being Bipolar? do I need to push myself more? if this IS due to Bipolar, does anyone have ideas of ways for me to cope?